Children

We are blessed to be apart of and active in the lives of so many children.  To nieces and nephews (even if they do live in England), to my younger sisters, and to that of our friends' kids who live near us and then to those that we serve at church.  Our lives are continuously surrounded by children.  And we love it!

We had the privilege to go to Galveston yesterday with my best friend/roommate from college, Leigh Anne and her husband Ryan.  We were able to spend the day with them at the beach and at the pool along with their 3 boys ages 4, 2, and 6 months.  Another couple was there who also have a 6 month old.  If you know me, you know I love kids!  Always have and always will and I believe that this is how God created me.  It is slowly becoming true for Michael as well.  Don't get me wrong.  He doesn't hate kids or not like them, but his experiences with them have not been in abundance like mine and therefore he is learning more and more about them as well as learning how to interact with them.  It is a really cool process to see and to be apart of.

We started our journey of marriage with just trusting in God.  We decided not to use any form of birth control and just go with whatever happens.  Each month it's been fun yet challenging to see if we are pregnant or not and so for it's been the latter.  I say challenging because I have always wanted children!  Always!  I want to experience the gift of pregnancy, I want to experience the gift of birthing, and I want to experience the gift of child-bearing.  I also want to experience the gift of parenting.  Some who might read this will be thinking I am totally insane and others may be able to embrace those same feelings and yet some may feel indifferent.

On our way home we got into a conversation about children.  We talked about how good the boys were that we had just spent time with and discussed how different our lives were.  Leigh Anne and Ryan now have 3 boys to care for each and every day and what a blessing that is.  However, it is not always easy.  As the day was wrapping up the boys were getting tired, cranky, and just needed to go to sleep.  Not only did they have to deal with packing up all the stuff they brought (which Leigh said she felt like they brought the whole house), but also the boys that were crying, fighting, and just plain being cranky.

I sort of had a revelation on our way home.  Although I have my ups and downs each month when I realize I am not pregnant and that it feels like everyone and their brother are pregnant around me (that's a bit of sarcasm by the way), I am thankful for where I am.  I believe that because Michael and I both stayed pure before marriage and that we saved ourselves for one another, God is blessing us with time for each other now.  

I believe that God is allowing us time to enjoy one another.  That He is giving us time to work out things in our marriage and to learn how to love one another deeply and to put each other as our number 2.  I believe He is giving us time to learn how to love one another as He has called us to love.  He is giving us time to travel and experience His creation.  He is giving us time to spend with family.  He is giving us time to learn how to be selfless.  He is giving us time to learn how to better raise the children He will give us.  He is giving us time to spend in Austin and experience politics at their best.  He is giving us this season in preparation for children.  Not that we couldn't do all those things with children.  I am totally confident that those around us with children do this just as well.  God is preparing us for children right now.

Each night in our prayer life, we lift up our children and ask God to bless us with them, to guide us as their parents, and for their future salvation.  We want children and we trust that God will bless us with them in the future, but for now we need to be satisfied.  I still struggle and sometimes get discouraged and question what is wrong with me, but I know that my hope comes from the Lord and I need to trust Him.

I will leave you with a funny story from yesterday.  Michael and I were on the beach playing with the boys along with Leigh Anne and Ryan.  Michael was squatting, building a sand castle and I tried to push him over with my foot.  He in turn tackled me down on the ground in the sand.  He finally let me up and I began to chase him into the ocean.  Their oldest boy said, "Daddy, what are they doing?"  And Ryan's response was, "Son, they are playing.  That's what married people do when they don't have kids!"

Father, help me to be satisfied in You and in the things that I have.  Help me not to want what others have and help me not to sulk in what I don't have.  Teach me to be grateful for all You have given me.  Teach me how to love my husband as Christ loves the church.  Teach me your ways, O Lord.  Amen.