Identity

Have you ever gone up to someone and asked "Who are you?"  or "Where do you find your identity?"  My guess is that, like the majority of us, we don't ask those questions because it sounds ridiculous!  Instead we ask, "So what do you do?"  I would venture to say that for most of us that is what we identify with.  Or we ask "What do you like to do for fun?"  That's usually what gets the conversation going.

But what if we were to ask "Who are you?"  What would your answer be?  I am not so sure I know that at this exact moment.  I believe God is doing something in me like never before.  He is completely stripping me of all the things that I once thought defined me.  Our good friend, Andy Norman, and I had a conversation last Sunday at church and I didn't really feel the weight of that conversation until the past few days.

I am not going to be teaching for the first time in 5 years!  I have waited my whole life to teach and I guess I always expected to teach until I became a mom.  No kids for us yet, but I believe that whatever this is it's huge.  God wants me...all of me.  He is who I have my identity in and not all this other stuff.

Michael and I enjoyed a simple lunch this afternoon and just sat talking about all of this.  He is on the verge of coming out of this identity crisis, for lack of better words, and I am beginning it.  I told him I have cried more the last week than probably the last two months put together.  I have many restless nights or nights that I just cry and cry until I can't cry anymore.  God is really breaking me.

I feel hurt, broken, lost, dazed, confused, and just plum tired.  Being stripped of all the things you once knew is very exhausting!  However, God is right here with me.  Every step of the way.  I don't feel like He has forgotten me.  I don't feel like He has abandoned me.  I just feel like God is molding me so that I will become more like Him.

Prayers for me during this time would be much appreciated.  Pray that God would move in a powerful way.  Pray that He continues to strip me until all I can depend on is Him.  That I would listen to what He is speaking to me and that I would respond with an open heart.

I will leave you today with this song from Big Daddy Weave called Redeemed.  This is my song for this season.  Click and listen :)